Dear ELV,

I love Italian food; for me it is the best food in the world. I feel that you can eat it every day a be very very happy. I like the fact that it simple and all based on great ingredients. Or at least it is in Italy.

I had the fortune to live and work in Italy and discover that Italian food is quite different then what is served here. Here we eat “Italo American” that for me is crap and has no tie to Italy at all.
I went to Parma ( or what ever it’s called) for lunch once because of your other good comments, and again, it was the usual ItaloAmerican Menu. The food was very average.

I spoke with Italian Chefs that work here in LV and they tell me that that they can’t really cook Italian because the clientele dose not want nor understand it. They are always asked to cook the same American Standards (fried calamari, linguini with clams, fettuccine Alfredo, chicken parmigiana..) so at the end they also loose passion and send out food that they would never ever serve in Italy. It’s almost like hiring an American Chef to work in Italy and have him cook Hotdogs because Italians think American Food is hotdogs and hamburgers.

So my question is: Would Las Vegas understand a real Italian restaurant? There are quite a few in San Francisco also many that are specialized in various Italian regions (Liguria, Lazio, Piedmonte, Sardinia). Or does the market only wants what we have.

I’m not surprised that you, ELV, avoid “Italian” restaurants, but sometimes I’m surprised by your reviews, like this one or Bacio at Tropicana, that are the same average ItaloAmerican…..crap?

Signed,

Totally Tired of Tepid Italian Tom

ELV responds:

Dear Teed Off,

Like you, we at ELV love Italian food, especially in Italy. In America (generally), all of the subtlety and nuance gets buried in a heap of “gravy,” cheese and other crude approximations of the real thing.

But this doesn’t mean it’s all “crap,” only that certain restaurants must be judged on their own terms. Regarding Parma, it seems to us that Chef Marc is trying to lighten things up a bit, and substitute “ingredient-forward” cooking for “sauce-forward” creations. (Perhaps we should have put this in the body of our article.) This is why we think it is worth a trip, although in no way does it compete with the finer Italian places on the Strip…and not even Marc claims it does.

Likewise, we’ve heard many an Italian  chef bemoan how the public just wears them down in its relentless quest for those “standards” that are done to death. (We call it the “Big Night Syndrome.”) Irene Virbila of the LATimes discussed this at length with Max and ELV on KNPR two years ago. Americans don’t want authentic Italian anymore than they want authentic Japanese or real, rustic French. Good Italian food only exists at all here because of our 40 million yearly visitors, and even with those numbers, there’s only a handful of restaurants serving anything close to the real thing.

The Las Vegas (read: local) market really doesn’t want anything more than the same old crappy sauces and cheese that Maggiano’s and Buca di Beppo churn out, and at least a couple of times a month we almost come to blows with good friends (some remarkably well-traveled and sophisticated) who rave to us about how much they love some crudely executed, hackneyed pasta at some lousy (but popular) local Italian joint. Piero’s is still in business fer chrissakes! And thriving! We rest our case.

Bottom line: If you want great Italian food, go to Italy; if you want good facsimiles of the real deal, go to Valentino, B & B or Circo; and if you want something better than the same old franchised, Sysco slop, give Parma/Pastavino a whirl. At least you know everything is made on the premises, and there’s a chef/owner around who takes no shortcuts.

Or get yourself a Marcella Hazan cookbook and learn about what makes this food so wonderful the old fashioned way: by cooking it yourself, the way we did 25 years ago.

Bolognese-i-ly yours,

Giovanni Curtas

Dear ELV,

Are there any rules for critiquing your friends as food critics?

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve received a text, or phone call from someone telling me how wonderful some restaurant is, as in: “OMG, you have to try it…the food is AMAZING!” only to be sorely disappointed by another average  Italian or run-of-the-mill steakhouse. Do you have any advice for how to gauge people’s bad taste, and how to deal with their mindless hyperbole when they foist it upon you?

Signed,

Fed Up With Friends

Dear FU,

First of all, you have to ask yourself: are my friends to the menu born, or are they part of the mindless restaurant rabble? An honest answer to this can be HARDER THAN YOU THINK. If they are part of the latter (most likely), hard decisions must be made. Should I stop talking to them altogether about restaurants? Feign interest? Humor them? Drop them as friends entirely? DON’T DISCOUNT THIS AS AN OPTION.

In ELV’s younger days, one or two bad restaurant recommendations would have entailed a week of sullen silence towards the offending friend, followed by a month of passive aggressive behavior — “Sure, I’ll meet you at Jose-Hymie’s Mexican Deli & Falafel Stand,” with no intention whatsoever of showing up — and finally, a thin grimace whenever they started bloviating about anything they ate. As we’ve matured, we’ve developed a system for editing out what our friends tell us about where we “have to go.” It is a COMPLEX MATRIX of information stored, based upon thousands of false leads, uninformed recommendations, and wasted time, money and calories all occurring because we were TOO POLITE to tell someone they have no idea what they’re talking about.

Keep in mind, the circle of ELV’s opinionated friends includes:

- Thousands of KNPR listeners (who’ve followed him since 1995);

- Dozens of doctors (who are never wrong);

- Hundreds of lawyers (who have the worst taste on the planet);

- Countless wine snobs (who wouldn’t know a good ma po doufu if it bit them on the ass); and,

- 47 women named Jennifer.

Decades in the making, our matrix involves how long we’ve known them, their travel history, cataloging their eating experiences, knowledge of their dining prejudices, how many times they’ve led us astray, and, most importantly, how annoyed we are with them at any given time. Eventually, you distill the whole formula down to a simple conclusion, followed by an even simpler statement: “THANKS for the information, ” said through a thin, weak smile….which is more like a grimace.

Insincerely yours,

ELV

Dear Johnny Boy,

I bet you live in Summerlin and sleep in 600 thread count unwashed for weeks sheets only because in your drunken stupor you forgot to schedule the maid to do your menial work while you get shitfaced on the house so you can later extol the virtues of the working class of which you so desperately try to assimilate with by giving glowing reviews that only pale next to your eternally white suit.

The symbiotic relationship that allows you to reach a greater high by way of a demagogue review may very well be the straight line that you could be asked to walk by your next best friend: your arresting officer.

Dear old Johnny, why does your alter ego insist on wanting to be known as the Charlie Sheen of the Las Vegas food reviewers? While your readers (including yours truly) look forward to (too) many insightful (borderline genius) and to the point food analysis & criticism, some of us get turned off by your social strata angle approach; Is this what you call winning???

Plugging the downtown dog & street bums piss laden landscape, tax break haven that the Goodmans could not sell to Fannie May or her dumb pole hugger friends is not the needed prescription …So why get on the band wagon??? DOWNTOWN is not the answer to the Las Vegas woes and neither is the strip where Fanny’s best friend, Sally appears nightly at grossly inflated rates.

Socialistic averaging tends to bring the bottom up by shrinking the overall social strata amplitude in a way that the extreme ends of the (economic) scale are “crunched” toward one another thereby raising the median…Food well cooked, food at a decent price, homey food is a trigger to well being and has the same effect on society as social strata crunch… A short lived feeling of well being and belonging.

Food eaters AKA pretty much most of us, are kept from occupying this web space with delirious rants as long as there will be someone working hard putting out good to outstanding food out there, masses will be willing to go through the dining experience then dose off and leave it to the chosen few like you Johnny boy to tell them what happened while you were raising your B.A.C. and screening calls from Dr. Drew so the unaware proletariat would wait for their laundry to complete the gentle “whites” cycle.

NO, I am not a grossly overpaid executive chef or GM at a strip property. As a matter of fact I am behind 2 mortgage payments and no longer have a “dining out” budget. But I still salivate while reading your various posts however your latest review has left a lump in my throat like a $36.00 chicken breast in a cream sauce that gave me gas all night.

Yours truly.

gimmeabreakudrunkenambulancechaser

How many comps do these restaurants have to give to ELV to make the book? And how many for the top ten?

Signed,

Critically Cynical Kevin

ELV responds:

Dear CCK-ster,

Some meals are comped, some are paid for by us, and some get paid for by our dining companions.

For example, Le Cirque, where ELV hasn’t paid for a meal in years, wasn’t in the Top 10 last year, and made it this year.

Figure it out for yourself, dillweed….which you could do by diligently reading this blog…and being less of a hater.

Sincerely,

ELV

Hello -

Thank you all for the comments and thoughts regarding this guest experience.

As the Marketing Director for Ark Vegas, which operates Gallagher’s Steakhouse, please allow me to clarify a few things regarding this particular situation.

The letter is an eye opener to read as there are many inaccuracies that unfairly misrepresent our management team at Gallagher’s, especially as being apathetic. We take all concerns very seriously and treat all guests with the utmost respect.

As the above letter has now come to public light, I feel that it’s necessary to clarify and expound on a few, important things:

• The guests first spoke with our General Manager to let them know of their issues. He immediately apologized and noticed they had eaten only one clam and their drinks remained untouched; he informed them that they would owe nothing.

• Our General Manager offered to call the front desk and get help for their sudden, onset illness; the guests declined.

• The entire experience did not take place in a short span of time all at once. The couple left Gallagher’s and returned to the host stand several times over the course of the evening. During one such visit, they requested their bill and were mistakenly given one by a manager who was unaware of the situation earlier in the evening. That was immediately rectified by the General Manager and server who returned their credit card to tell them, again, that they owed nothing and to, again, apologize for their experience.

• A phone conversation did take place later that night, during which our General Manager again apologized and asked what else he could do to help. Requests by the manager to refrain from obscene language and to extend the same respect he was receiving were disregarded, unfortunately prompting an end to communications at that time.

To Waylon, if you’re reading: We have already reached out to you via email, but have not heard back to date. If you’d care to further discuss your issues, please respond to the previous email sent from Brisa, or you may get in touch with me directly.

Finally, is guest experience important to us? Absolutely. No one is “just a number” as surmised in the above letter. We don’t serve food and drinks to “numbers”, we strive to enhance a guest’s overall Las Vegas experience and to provide stories and build memories about that great time they had at Gallagher’s with their server Paulie.

Regards,
Matt Holsinger
Marketing Director | ARK Vegas
matth@arkvegas.com

Hello,

I went to Gallagher’s Steakhouse in the New York New York Casino….   wait..  Let me rephrase this so that it is clear exactly what has happened and how I plan on sharing it.   I stayed in Las Vegas for additional evening to the tune of approx. $400 (hotel, extra dining, etc) to get an opportunity to try a newly learned about Steakhouse in the New York New York Casino…   The wine that was recommended by Paul our server was great..  the bread was OK, but we ordered the Clams Casino, and I am sorry to say but they were horrible…  disgusting and to the point that they made my girlfriend and I both sick.  Literally we were both vomiting in the bathroom just outside the restaurant.  I attempted to make the staff aware of the obvious isolated problem and carry about my evening, this became impossible.  After vomiting in the bathroom and than making our way to a taxi and puking a few more times we made in back to the hotel where we were staying and again vomiting and feeling extremely ill.  I have never gone to the length of emailing every email address that I could find relating to a restaurant, but this is how strongly I feel about this whole event.

I cannot recall the managers name that I spoke to while at the restaurant, but while standing in the entry of the restaurant upset and my girlfriend ‘green’ I was basically treated as an problem and piece of garbage as I try to give my business card to the ‘managers’ standing there expressing how sick my girlfriend had become as I didn’t want to walk away from whatever I owed for what we had drank or eaten.  I was told that I would ‘get in trouble’ if I were to leave.  Nearly vomiting on the hostess station I was handed a bill for approx. $17, the gentleman said it was for our drinks..  I was not too happy to say the least, but after sharing some expletives I gave a credit card to the gentleman and asked him to hurry as I wanted to leave ASAP.  A moment later ‘Paul” our server and truly a classy and extremely respectable individual came out and handed me my credit card and told me I was crazy if I thought that I would pay for anything and said sorry over and over, I gave him a tip with the little cash I had in my pocket as I figured the manager was going to make him pay for my bill.

After I arrived back at the hotel I called the restaurant again to share my experience and concern of a problem with the safety of the food and was met with the same guy who had already spoke with me and rather than saying sorry, just said ‘have a nice evening’ and hung up on me.  Obviously his time and responsibilities at the time were more important that me, the customer.  I assured him that I would let as many people know of my poor quality food, and worse treatment as I could.

You are only one of many people that I am telling this story to.  I am confident that others will take note and either not eat at this establishment, or at least ask of the people that run it the simple question of ‘Why?’.  Why would you treat a customer like this and why would you not have accepted this as a mistake in the kitchen and just simply done something to rectify the problem.  Why do I so feel compelled to sit in my hotel room and compose an email to anyone who might listen.  Why does it take this sort of effort to get someone to say so much as ’sorry’?  The only person who apologized was the innocent waiter Paul.

Here is why…   This restaurant is a tourist destination a ‘one time stop and have a meal’ kind of place.   It makes for a great story about how the meat is sitting in the window and how the aged beef taste so good.  It makes for a great tribute to the original in New York.  The only problem with all of this is that the staff and the management knows that generally people don’t return, so why go out of their way to make it any different.  Why go out of their way to be humble and apologetic?  I understand that I am just a number, they proved it quite clearly in front of fellow patrons, and passers by.   Well for the record, I refuse to be a number and just another customer.  I want to try the great steaks of Gallagher’s, and furthermore I want to enjoy an evening in Las Vegas rather than in my hotel room sick and my girlfriend sick and in bed.  I live only a few hours drive from Las Vegas and was looking forward to the enjoyable evening and good times.  I have effectively wasted the money and time on this trip thanks to Gallagher’s, I spent the money on a room, gas to get here, and a couple of drinks on the walk over to Gallagher’s.

To anyone who has read this far, I hope that you can do what is within your power to ensure that one else has to have this type of experience at Gallagher’s.

Sincerely,

(Referring to a comment about our interview by Al Mancini posted below) I loved when they suggested that Curtass should be writing for Gourmet Magazine. Gourmet isn’t published anymore. It’s obsolete. Just like Curtass’s approach to food and dining. He’s just a self-important old fart, always creeping on girls. A sweaty, drunken creeper in a seersucker suit.

Signed,

bistroj@hotmail.com

Dear bistroj@hotmail.com,

We at ELV have a bet going around the ELV offices. Yours truly has bet that you are either an owner or employee of a local restaurant (most probably a notoriously crappy Mediterranean one) who can’t get over a bad review we gave you years ago, and who remains bitter because all of the current focus on the Vegas dining scene has ignored you and your persistent mediocrity.

Our staff thinks you’re just a bitter old jerk, or an obnoxious young hater.

Would you mind clearing up this mystery for us?

Either way, we’re dedicating our next Hot Hostess Watch to you so you can see what young girls we’ve been sweating upon.

Sincerely,

ELV

John Curtas thanks for posting this…. this is truly sad but me personally as many, knew it was coming, it was just a matter of time. Its like a family member is passing away and emotions are being brought.

Now that I just finished off a little glass of Chartreuse,  Having had worked at Bradley Ogden that 2004 year, I can tell you, our kitchen was on fire.

The envy of Las Vegas. Bradley Ogden is the reason for Joel Robuchon and Guy Savoy and all other dining programs prior. No one could touch us. If we all got together to open a restaurant now, it would be the best restaurant in the world. The best restaurant to mankind, that’s if we don’t kill each other.

Chef de cuisine, ex sous chef, sous chef, chef tournant, cook – everyone – was bad-ass – even the front of the house.  Being years have past and I’m sure all of “you BOH members” remember the good ol’ days. Hopefully everyone is moving on to dreams and ambitions and absolute in their success.  For Bradley Ogden, you could have been the Robuchon of America.  I am happy to had had that experience and I hope all you feel the same, and I say that with love.

And for the rest of Vegas, you never had what we had. We fucking broke the rules everyday.  And if you douches don’t know who this is yet, “that shits got made flave yo”. i’ll see you when I’m dining at your restaurants.  I guess it’s an end to a chapter.  To the Ogden family, the best wishes.  Gordon Ramsay, go fuck yourself. Your Hells Kitchen jail inmate style cooks will never live up to the success that came out of the B.O. kitchen – minus Trees (a.k.a Denny’s Extraordinaire) j/k. Douche face.  I don’t give two shits how tough you think you are – fucking lets see how you do in Vegas. Fucking desert will eat you up in a heart beat.

Peace out.

Every time I dine out lately, it seems I find myself at a table with at least one person who has food issues or allergies. Sometimes they have so many questions about the menu, the poor waiter feels like they’re taking an oral examination on the food. My question is: Just who is the victim here: those with food/health issues or those of us forced to put up with them?

Signed,

Celiac-free Celine

Dear CFC,

The problem is YOURS not theirs. Don’t you read the research? Practically the whole state of California, and most of the population of Auckland, New Zealand suffers from some form of food allergy or food-induced disease. Diabetes, lactose intolerance and anaphylactic shock are NOT TO BE TRIFLED WITH. Restaurants owe it to their customers to put a complete list of cooking ingredients and techniques beside each and every bit of food served, along with a disclaimer besides each dish like they do with drugs:

Warning: This product may be harmful to humans if swallowed. Possible side effects may include: nausea, flatulence, obesity, stomach ache, gas with oily spotting, irritability and droopy eyelids. Ingestion of  green chile cheeseburgers may cause difficulty with breathing and has been known to cause erections lasting more than four hours.

…AND employ a full-time nutritionist to advise everyone about what and why they should (or should not) order.

Tailoring its menu to the needs of every customer (from the most gluttonish omnivore to the boy in the bubble) is every restaurant’s sworn, legal duty. YOU COULD LOOK IT UP. Eating Las Vegas has neither the time or the temperament to put up with selfish, whiny diners like yourself. If you aren’t prepared to accommodate the needs of your tablemates, no matter how small, you should stay home and cook your own meals.

Epinephrine-i-ly yours,

ELV

PS: We’ll let you know if we find those green chile cheeseburgers.