“My problem with ‘wichcraft,” says the Burger Maven of Las Vegas, “is that it’s okay, but it isn’t that great…even though he (owner/Top Chef star/judge/über-chef Tom Colicchio) loves to tear Top Chef cheftestants a new asshole over the sandwiches they make.”

Sheepishly, we have to admit to him that we’ve never been, even though Colicchio’s casual counter has been here for years. So, we defer to the BMOLV for a bit, as we take the long, annoying hike through the always-aggravating MGM to grab a “sammie” as Rachel (“I’m not a chef”) Ray would say.

Total walking time from valet to front of sandwich shop: 10 minutes.

So we order. One chicken salad and one roasted pork panini with coppa, pepper relish and fontina cheese. Plus two sodas.

And a cookie.

Total wait time for food: 10 minutes.

Level of satisfaction: High for the chicken salad on beautifully fresh multi-grain bread, dressed with pickled red onions and roasted tomatoes — in all well-seasoned and cooked, with the ingredients in perfect proportion to their palate profile.

Level of satisfaction: Extremely low for the panini — skimpy pork, crudely place coppa, and barely there relish and cheese — no better or worse than at any number of chain sandwich shops.

Overall opinion of whether Colicchio’s  judicial, sliced bread imperiousness is justified: Our burger-loving, sandwich-judgin’ friend was right. He needs to go back to sandwich school before he submarines any creations on his TV show.

Total elapsed time from finish of sandwiches, walk through the MGM, handing ticket to valet, and getting automobile for departure: 22 minutes.

Total bill: $40.

Yeah, forty bucks for sandwiches, sodas and a cookie. And the cookie was stale. Seriously stale. As in: dry and crumbly and obviously 2-3 days old.

Total overall opinion whether anyone who isn’t standing directly in front of ‘wichcraft should ever walk even a minute out of their way to grab a bite there: You make the call!

‘WICHCRAFT

In the MGM Hotel and Casino

3799 Las Vegas Blvd. South

Las Vegas, NV 89109

702.891.1111

www.mgmgrand.com/restaurants/wichcraft-sandwiches.aspx

The VEGAS Inc. reported yesterday that Landry's Restaurants of Houston, Texas has agreed to buy both the Beso restaurant and nightclub, en toto, but that the former basketball fan /delinquent tenant/sexpot will retain a 30% interest in a newly formed company that "will have the right to use the Beso assets" and that she'll be contractually obligated to make appearances there.

Landry's is also agreeing to cover her legal fees (up to $500,000) and indemnify her for any losses she might suffer for her ongoing business dispute with her partners in the enterprise -- the payment of which could reduce her stake in her "newly formed/right to use assets" company.

Since ELV gets paid big money to handle disputes just like this one in his other job as a lawyer-at-law, he will now translate this business/legalese for his readers:

Longoria is going to own 30% of nothing (the VEGAS Inc. headline is somewhat misleading on this point) except a company whose sole responsibility it is to market the restaurant on behalf of its new owner. The deal is a way to salvage a prime location in a (one day, they hope) busy mall, by the landlord agreeing to take a haircut on the rent, if the only marketing muscle the business has (Longoria's Q-rating), sticks around by requiring her to continue to be associated with the business in some capacity. By "associated with the business" we mean she must now appear a set number of times a year, and at a variety of events, much like most celebrity chefs must do at other hotels.  In exchange for helping the new owner of the lease (Landry's) advertise her steakhouse, she gets partially bailed out of her legal disputes with her prior investors,. Whatever lawsuits remain between her and her former partners will probably twist in the wind before they fade away. (Finger pointing over a failed business usually only fattens the coffers of attorneys.*)

Her investors may not be happy, but the agreement will be forced upon them by the Bankruptcy Court, whose only alternative is to shut down the business entirely for non-payment of rent. Interesting fact buried within the body of the article: apparently someone floated the idea of having The Light Group, Mastro's or another restaurant company buy the operation, but none of them were interested (0r didn't have the cash).

PS: As you may recall, the original Beso in SoCal had a certain someone as a consulting chef: