Everywhere but New York, a Bagel Just Tastes Like Round Bread
Calvin Trillin said that. In like, 1979. Things have improved around the country in the past thirty years, but there’s still no place like the Big Apple for great Jewish food….or this iconic slab of boiled and baked dough.
Here in Sin City, a good bagel is harder to find than a stripper who grinds on credit. We’ve tried ‘em all (bagels not strippers) and none achieve the crispy/chewy/gummy/yeasty perfection of the type you find everywhere in Manhattan (New York, not Kansas).
Now ELV has been pretty harsh on old Harrie in the past, but after another year and a half of bagel bounding, we’ve gotta say his are the closest you’ll find to this back east bulge of bread. The bialys, however, are still astoundingly mediocre (they get the proportions all wrong).
To attain perfection, the bagel would have to be crunchier and gummier and less bread-i-er (plus, these taste a tad sweet), but it’s about the best there is in our humble burg, so we’re giving Harrie’s a Go In Peace, and our highest bagel praise to date….which we realize is a little like praising Vegas for the quality of its classical music, but that’s all we got on a gloomy Monday morning.
We draw the line at chocolate-covered bagels, however, and wish Harrie and Company would do the same.
In closing, we at ELV would like to leave you with our favorite Jewish food joke:
Harry was walking down Regent Street and stepped into a posh gourmet food shop.
An impressive salesperson in a smart morning coat with tails approached him and politely asked, “Can I help you, Sir?”
“Yes,” replied Harry, “I would like to buy a pound of lox.”
“No. No,” responded the dignified salesperson, “You mean smoked salmon.”
“OK, a pound of smoked salmon, then.”
“Yes, a dozen blintzes.”
“No. No. You mean crepes.”
“Okay, a dozen crepes.”
“Yes. A pound of chopped liver.”
“No. No. You mean pate.”
“Okay,” said Harry, “A pound of pate then and I’d like you to deliver all of this to my house on Saturday.”
“Look,” retorted the indignant salesperson, “we don’t schlep on Shabbos!”
855 East Twain Ave.
Las Vegas, NV 80109
(Note: Harrie’s is no longer cash only)