Letter of the Week

Dear Eating Las Vegas,

Let’s see if Mr. Curtas would write the same type of condescending review if he HAD to eat a vegan diet for health reasons. I do and believe me, I am not hungry at all. I know that tofu can taste like almost anything – it’s all in the preparation. If you freeze it and then thaw it it gets “meatier” in texture. Tofu itself doesn’t have flavor – the flavor comes from the sauce or marinade. And I’m not talking about those little white blobs floating in the miso soup in Chinese restaurants. So enough of the sneering (“as perfect and tasty as this food probably can get”). If you get white blobs of tofu for your meal in restaurants … that means the chef is thinking INSIDE the box.

As for “every restaurant in the hotel offer[ing] a vegan option to guests” … it’s about freaking time these chefs started thinking about plant-based meals. Anyone can throw a piece of meat on the grill and call it a day. But try devising an entree that’s more than a plate of steamed/grilled veggies… THAT takes talent. And until Steve (or his girlfriend) … frankly none of the chefs had any. Now I can finally eat in those restaurants.

From a business perspective in a poor economy, restaurants and caterers who choose not to market to vegan consumers do so at their own risk. I agree the number of vegans is small compared to those who would be content eating a meal with animal products. But what these *business people* perhaps have not considered is that the vegan community embraces good vegan food (read: NO STEAMED/GRILLED VEGGIE PLATES) with a *huge* amount of referral marketing via blogs and word of mouth. While the community is not large, our impact usually is. Word of mouth is the best advertising in the vegan community.

Agitatively and Vegitatively yours,

Very Vegas Vegan

ELV responds:

Dear Triple V,

“HAD to eat a vegan diet”? ELV is tempted not to go there, but in the adventuresome and offensive spirit for which he is known, will do so. We at ELV consider the American obsession with restricted diets, gluten-free this, lacto-intolerant that, and “I’m allergic to those…” to be the biggest crock of bad head cheese since Horace Fletcher’s liquified diet.

These “conditions” are simply more refined, semi-scientific versions of the old diet fads of the 6o’s, 7o’s and 8o’s, and are a way for everyone to feel unique and draw attention to themselves because of their “special dietary needs.” Do you know who doesn’t have food allergies and “special dietary needs”? People in the Second and Third Worlds. Do you know who does? Americans. Spoiled, fast-food-fattened, unhealthy Americans.

Everything else in your thoughtful, well-written and much appreciated letter, we agree with.

Agedashi-ly yours,

6 thoughts on “Letter of the Week

  1. John —

    Get off your high horse and admit that a large portion of the world’s population is vegetarian and a growing group is vegan. I personally hate when they yell at me for what I eat/wear/consume. But when they treat me politely I feel they are a group that needs to be properly served. I personally (and professionally) applaud any attempts to serve these people — desite the fact they often call me a Nazi for eating meat. If the world’s best chefs make non-animal protein taste good, I’m all for it.

    See you soon man.


  2. Did Al misspell his own name? What are his reviews like before Mr. Sebelious gets a look? I had to stop counting grammatical errors after the first “sentence”.

  3. Children, children…forgive those who trespass when typing into a handheld as they would forgive us trespassers for our grammatical glitches.

    As to the “high horse” accusation against ELV, we must defend ourselves, as we agreed with much of Triple V’s letter, and only derided the wallowing narcissism of those who bask in the glow of their dietary “conditions” — many of which amount to little more than: “I don’t feel that good after I eat (a certain something).” So you know what? Don’t eat that! And quit associating it with a medical problem so people will pay more attention to you.

    ELV has trouble with lots of foods: acidic white wines, milk (don’t ask), carbs, beef, bourbon, but he doesn’t go around whining about it…he just watches his intake.

    And the whole gluten-free thing is the biggest con on the American public since personal injury lawyers convinced homeowners that mold would kill them.

    jon cutis

  4. you know, Vegan dishes in these restaurants are truly bullshit. Fuck tofu – give me a nice fucking grain cabage roll with some reduced carrot sauce or something.
    But I would have to agree with the writer that Vegan dishes are bullshit. But their bullshit everywhere – Even in Vegan hip cities like Berkeley. “Yes I would like the gluten free spinach wrap with improperly cooked eggplant and fake smoked turkey and faux feta cheese for $15.95.”
    I also have to say for any vegan bitching about restaurants not serving vegan shit, DONT GO OUT TO EAT. For the same reasons us non vegans dont go out – TO fucking expensive, use of too much butter, use of too many enriched products, shotty prep methods and just too many god damn calories on the plate.
    STAY HOME AND COOK!!! And go out on occasion, who the hell goes out to dinner anymore, its better just to go out to drink your ass off in public. Fuck, if fire fly was good anymore, I would munch there – talk about a shit whole. The downtown location is terrible.

    ohh and this website is losing value daily – its turned into an ELV diary of culinary mishaps, sarcasms and boredom. I would like ELV to gather his belongings and move to a real foodie city, where every moment is culinary bliss with actual things to critique, rather even begin to focus on some random broad bitching about las vegas vegan dishes. ridicolous.

  5. ELV,
    Just thought I’d throw out that Celiac Disease is a REAL disease, and requires a no gluten diet. And its fairly common.

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