Dear Readers: After his second meal at Capo’s (in less than a week), ELV sought out his Italian food muse Vinnie “Vinnie Scungilli” Raguacapreseconlimonealscamorza (aka Vinnie Alphabets) for a little philosophical conversation on America’s most popular restaurant food:
ELV: You know Vinnie, the food at Capo’s needs no introduction. This is not necessarily a good thing… Calling something tortellini Trafficante, or lasagna Lucchese, or Spilotro spiedini or whatever, while cute, doesn’t signify anything except pandering to the worn-out, tomato-drenched, Eye-talian food that (usually) is a celebration of quantity over quality.
Vinnie Raguacapresesconlimonealscamorza: Don’t bust my balls paisan! I really like this joint.
ELV: You like it ‘cuz it makes money…..and nothing screams profits like a marsala this or a piccata that. But don’t you think this cliche is about worn out — restaurant-wise?
VR: Not in Vegas it ain’t. Boy, nuttin packs ’em like meatballs and Mamma’s special “sugo” sauce….
ELV: Which is really just a tired tomato sauce, slightly on the sweet side….
VS: …Like I wuz sayin’ jerk off, nuthin’ sells like sugo….unless it’s tons of mozzarella melted over everything, and what’s not to like about the old school vibe?
ELV: Okay, I’ll give you that one, but the meatballs are 50% filler, the steak with gorgonzola was a cheap, tough, overcooked piece o’ meat, and whassup with the stale croutons on the overdrenched Caesar?
VS: Keep it up meatball, and the capo di tutti capi will bust a cap in your white hiney ass…
ELV: That’s just my point, cugine, youse wise-guys have been playing the same tune forever — restaurant-wise, and the food never improves, ‘cuz you and yours like it lousy…
VS: I’m tired of arguing wit yuze, and if I’m gonna get you a pass (from being whacked), I gotta ask: Is there anything you like about da joint?
ELV: Well, it’s cozy, and friendly, and dark, and a great place to take a goumada, and the chicken piccata and veal Marsala were perfect renditions of these overworked recipes — and by that I mean they were, in and of themselves, the perfect glorification of the mediocrity that is Italian-American food in the United States. And the chicken Angelo was serviceable and not overwhelmed by its sauce. Otherwise, most of the menu should sleep with the fishes.
VS: And maybe you should observe a little omerta.
ELV: You know I can’t do that …. so here’s me on KLAS TV on Friday morning, trying to be kind:
…and here are some tasty (and not so tasty) snaps of my two meals:
CAPO’S
5675 West Sahara Ave.
Las Vegas, NV 89103
702.364.2276
While I happen to have a soft spot in my heart for the cuisine, I have to say I don’t get a kick out of the menu format (I guess every one, esp. in Vegas has to have a schtick) and the dishes certainly look overwrought. You do have the lingo down pretty well, though John.
Been to Capo’s a number of times, and really enjoyed the atmosphere. Mushroom caps and calamari are good appetizers. Try the lasagna or chicken piccata with the house specialty drink “nicotini”…very tasty!
Funny Stuff John !!!
GREAT! JUST WHAT LAS VEGAS NEEDED! YET ANOTHER WAY BELOW AVERAGE SPAGETTI AND MEATBALLS JOINT!!! This town is full of em! ATTENTION ITALIAN AMERICANS: Just because your great grandmamma is from Italy doesnt mean YOU can cook. So stop opening these garbage restaurants all over town…you hear me Mastrionis Cafe on Hualapai? And while your at it, quit pretending you’re in the mafia. I liked The Sopranos alot too, but your not Tony or Paulie or any of thoes guys. You’re just a bunch of clowns serving poorly executed red sauce over dried pasta.