To ELV readers: This was sent to us by good friend “Becky The Bartender.” It comes from a Facebook Forum for bitter (to say the least) waitrons and barkeeps. It’s sorta true and kinda funny and really long, but take it with a huge grain of salt with whatever margarita you’re having.
—BAR—
*People waving their money at you/throwing it at you in the hope of being served before everybody else who has been waiting longer.
*People who take 15 minutes to remember what they need to order, while 100 other angry people are waiting to be served.
*People who order a round of 20 drinks, then dont have enough cash to pay for them…. then you have to wait for them to get cash out or put it through on credit while the 100 other angry custmers get even more impatient. CREDIT IS A BITCH! it takes too long!
*People who demand a free glass of tap water! Then demand ice! a Lemon wedge! AND a straw! and then don’t even say PLEASE or THANK YOU!!
*People who think its ok to mime what they would like to order! YOU’RE IN A FUCKING BAR WITH LIVE MUSIC! speak up when you order if you want the right drink!
*People who lean right over the bar to order and SCREAM in your ear and spit all over your face!! especially if a drop of spit goes anywhere near your mouth! EWwww!
* It is NOT ok to call us “Hey” or “Yo”, nor do we respond to whistles or banging your bottle or glass on the bar! People who do this deserve to be served last! Or not at all! Keep walking straight past them like you can’t see them!
*People who leave their drink on the bar for 10 minutes and come back to find that you have thrown it out (for their own safety incase it has been spiked while no one has been watching it…) and they blast you and demand a free replacement even though they had already drunk most of it before anyway!
*People who think that because you are polite to them, that you want to sleep with them! GROSS! Its our job to be polite to you…. we don’t actually like you at all! YOU REPULSE US! The guy before you was flirting too! And the guy before him! You are no different sweetheart!
*People who ask for stupid drinks like “I’ll have a glass of wine….” Arghhhh, ok well red or white? “white” chardonnay, sav blanc, riesling, frontingac? “whatever!” CHARGE THESE PEOPLE FOR THE MOST EXPENSIVE WINE ON THE LIST! IDIOTS!
*People who look at you like your mentally retarded when they ask for “a Pure Blonde” and you ask “Would you like a schooner or a pint?” and they scream in your face “NO! A PURE BLONDE!”
*Drunken tacky women who you see come up to the bar every 10 minutes hooking up with a different revolting man just so that he will buy her a drink! AND KEEP THAT GROSS SLOPPY DRUNKEN HOOKING UP AWAY FROM THE BAR! IT MAKES EVERYONE ELSE WANT TO VOMIT!
*People (Generally Men) who think that they are funny when they pass you a $20 note to pay for their drink but when you go to take it from them they snatch it back like its a game of tug-o-war! this is NOT funny! especially when other people are waiting to be served!
*People who can see that you are in the middle of making several drinks and say “when you get a chance….” NO! Obviously right now I am doing something and I don’t have a chance! When I get a chance I will come to you!
*People who say “I’m a bartender too!” THINK I CARE?? Do these people believe that they will receive preferential service just because thy work in some crummy bar on the other side of town which nobody has ever even heard of… And if you do really work in a bar, we will know by the way you behave.
*People who complain about prices!! People who clearly want to impress their friends and or business associates and order an expensive drink….. Don’t ruin it by complaining about the price. YES, Johnnie Walker Blue label is $32 a glass! And YES! I am sure! Order something cheaper next time.
*People who complain that there is no alcohol in their drink when there is! Yes there IS alcohol in it! If you can’t taste it you are too drunk and should be cut off! If you want an extra shot you pay!
*People who write their phone number on serviette’s, beer coasters or anything of the like and pass it over the bar to you and wink. Ewww! If I didn’t ask for it I don’t want it! Very flattering but I am not going to call you, not because you are gross but because I don’t want to associate with the type of person that does that! And don’t come into the bar next weekend being rude and cranky because I didn’t call you!
*People, usually drink sluts who rely on others to fund their big trashy night out, who ask the price of every drink before they order! Hurry up and decide! Just ask for the house white if you only came out with $10 which you also need for your cab ride home! (If you don’t end up going back to some sleaze bags pad for coffee….) The only question allowed in this circumstance is “Do you have any specials tonight?”
*People who order things the wrong way around! There is a certain lingo involved in drink ordering! When ordering a mixed drink, the liquor comes before the mixer. Don’t order a cranberry with vodka! It is vodka cranberry! And there is a difference between a Vodka lemon lime, a vodka lemonade, a vodka lime and Soda, a vodka soda fresh lime and a lemon vodka!!
*People who ask for a free drink on their birthday!! NO
*People who continuously want you to put their order through on their credit card for each round! OPEN A TAB! Credit takes way too long! There is only one credit/eftpos station at the bar and it is not here! YOU ARE A PAIN!
*People who order 15 wet pussy shots for them and their friends! This is easy… UNTIL… one of their dumb rude friends jumps in and says “Oh.. I don’t actually like wet pussies! I’ll have a Jager instead!” and before you know it they all want different ones! Tequila with salt and lemon, Agwa, Cowboy, Squashed frog… the list goes on!
*People who love to slip in the “I know (insert owners name here)… Is he in today?” in the hope of a free drink. I don’t know you. I don’t care if you know the owner, you don’t get a free drink unless he personally orders for you.
*People who finish their drink off by slamming their glass down on the bar so hard that the bar nearly collapses! This is especially important when drinking Jager Bombs! Little glass inside big glass plus slamming equals two broken glasses and a pissed off bargirl!
*People who just love to touch things!!Do not touch things on the bar that are not yours. Keep your dirty hands out of my fruit, off of my straws, and away from my cordials. You are a germ machine! Stay well away! Also people who think its funny to lean right over the bar when you are not looking and grab a bottle of spirits and take a swig! “SECURITY!!! Kick him out! NOW!”
*People who order a Vodka Lemon Lime and proceed to take the sticky dripping wedge of lime out of the drink with their filthy fingers and leave it on the bar top for you to dispose of! If you don’t like lime, order a drink without it DUMB ASS!
*People who order a $100-bottle of wine, drink half of it and then complain that “the wine is off!” Don’t be insulted when five employees come to the verdict that it´s JUST FINE- we’re all pros, we drink A LOT and KNOW our alcohol. Besides, wine is fermented grape juice- technically, it IS off… The same applies to any drink! It’s too late to complain and demand a replacement drink when you have already finished more than half of it!
*People who order one shot…. We feel sorry for you. Get a friend.
*People who have been at the bar waiting 10 minutes to be served and when you eventually get to them and ask what they would like, say “Ummmm I’m not sure”. TOO LATE! I’m onto serving the next customer then! You can wait another 5 minutes!
*People who order a drink which can be served in more than one way, for example a beer which we stock in bottles as well as on tap! SPECIFY! Do not watch us pour 5 Stella’s from the tap then tell us you wanted bottles. If you wanted bottles you should have asked, or at least stopped us t the 1st one!
*People who complain that they received the wrong drink when their friend ordered for them! Fair enough you may have asked your friend for a Vodka soda, but your friend is an idiot and quite clearly ordered a vodka lemonade! IT”S NOT MY FAULT! Drink it or buy yourself another one! The idiot friend can also be a real pain in this situation too, because even if they know thy screwed up and ordered the wrong thing sometimes they won’t admit “oh yeah, I did actually order it with lemonade by accident! Sorry!”
–CAFE–
*People who order the most annying thing on the menu EG- An antipasto with extra avocado, the italian bread toasted and no cheese, but extra stuffed pepperbells…(In the middle of the lunch rush) then after they have been waiting for 34 seconds scream “where is my antipasto!!? Im in a hurry! ahhhh! just make it take away! i dont have time to wait any longer!”
*People who order a Large, double shot, soy, decaf, Vienna mocha with 2 sugars to have here but in a takeaway cup with hot skim milk and a honey sachet on the side! GET FUCKED!
*People who cant read the menu and ask “what do you have…?” WE DONT HAVE TIME FOR PEOPLE LIKE YOU!
*People who order a latte to have here, but still ask you to mix a sugar in for them! When you have 15 other coffees to make at the same time! DO IT YOURSELF! ITS NOT HARD!
*People who complain that $3 is too much for a coffee… go home then!
*People who knock their half drunk cofee off of their table, break the cup, and then expect you to make them another coffee free after you clean up their mess!
*People who steal the magazines/People who rip the tokens off of the front page of the newspaper to win tickets to the grand final! THEY DON’T DESERVE TO WIN! THEY ARE TOO STINGEY TO EVEN BUY A NEWSPAPER!
*People who come in after everything has been packed up, the fridges are empty, the lights are out, the music is off and the chairs are stacked and ask “Are you still open?” NO!!
*AND SO MUCH MORE…….
Having worked in counter service, cafe, casual dining, and fine dining, I can tell you first hand that the biggest complaint of people in this industry is bad tips. Which made me very confused as to why tips were hardly mentioned in the rant. I have seen pretty much every scenario above and can say that many are extremely frustrating, and some are just downright befuddling. And for those of you servers who hate the “I know the owner” one, get out a piece of paper and ask “What’s your name so I can let him/her know you came in to help support them.” That’ll shut them up.
Having to ask every customer in the steakhouse, “and HOW would you like your steak PREPARED?” Or even better, the customer that asks every waiter in the joint for something, one right after the other, so he ends up with 20 people bringing him sugar/lemons/whatever the hell the impatient jerk just couldn’t wait for! Maybe the greatest pet-peeve in this town, and purely for a guests safety, having them ask for a hot towel to wipe their hands on after coming from a dirty casino…uh, the bathroom is 20 feet away, perhaps you might want to use soap?!
call me crazy, but this is getting to be an annual rant – i see this bs every year ! tough cookies – for every example given , i can give you one where the service just stinks !! If you can’t handle the heat, feel free to go in the back of the house and wash some dishes !! Trust me, there are 100’s of people that will gladly step in and take your job.
I think kjs missed the point. While I think that anyone who has to vent this much needs a friend or maybe just stronger drinks at the end of each night to forget, I think non-service folk should see this as a learning tool. Bartenders don’t come into your office and act rude or disrespectful, so don’t come into their bars and be rude to them. Understanding is necessary at times from both sides. And, kjs, these people don’t hate their jobs, and get through the day just fine, they just get annoyed when people act like morons (as most people in most lines of work do).
Yes, working in the customer service industry is tough. Been there, done that. (still do to some degree). Unfortunately in Vegas, instead of getting a college degree, people prefer the service industry because they end up making more money – atleast until their feet & knees & old age take over.
I’ve seen lots of ignorant customers in Vegas & lots of ignorant bartenders- who for some strange reason think they are better than the customers because they learned how to pour a drink.
People come to Vegas to forget their problems & stress at home. You are there to make them feel good. It’s not about you.
TIPS? Tips are EARNED – Amount depends on whether you’re worth it.
If you can’t understand that, perhaps you should go and get an education and complain in another line of work – IF you can find a job.
— you obviously are not tough enough for customer service work.
Get over yourself.
-cafe-
why is there avocado on an antipasto platter to begin with??
This is all hella funny. I agree with most of it.
This girl should do a book with Anthony Bourdain.
You think all this is bad……
Try being a cook.
2x as bad for 1/3rd the money.
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